Sunday, August 07, 2005

Out of Control Part Two

I’ve done it again. For the fourth time in seven years, I have lost a body part. No, it is not life threatening. It’s more an embarrassing issue. You see I have lost some teeth, my partial to be exact. Back in 1998 when I had to submit to an oral correction of my mouth, I was fitted with a partial. Two teeth in the front of my mouth had loss bone to keep them in place and had to be amended with fake teeth, hence, a partial.

Now when I first got it, it took some adjustment on my part. I had to get use to a foreign object in my mouth. Unbeknownst to me, it wasn’t easy. Unlike that open mouth kiss all of us enjoy, this foreign object did not bring joy or pleasure. Therefore, every chance I got, I took it out. It was removed when I was home and among friends. I only wore it when I was out in public doing speaking engagements or teaching a class of some sort. The first time I lost it, was in a mall. The next time was in a restaurant and the third time was in my own garbage at home. Please don’t ask. Just write it off to, sometimes I don’t think before I act. The first incident was so comedic that I ended up writing a story about it and it can now be read in my memoir that you can buy. Suffice it to say, I obviously don’t like wearing a partial. So without any hesitation I will remove it from my mouth and set it aside without any forethought.

Each time I lost the partial before, I had very good medical coverage, so it would cost me little to replace it. I was still employed by a financial organization. Now I am in a quarry. As a freelance writer, with unsteady income, I have to pay for everything out of pocket. Which includes prescriptions, visits to family doctors, ophthalmologists, dentists and any other specialist I would have to see. As of today, funds are low and bills are high. Summer is the slow time for freelance writers you know. So what will I do? Pray and pray a lot. I have three speaking engagements coming up in October and November. I don’t think my audiences will take me seriously if speak to them with an empty space in the front of my mouth.

Many times I ask myself why these things happen to me. Remember earlier I mentioned the things we can’t control or possibly God talking and I’m not listening. Well, I am still trying to figure out where I go wrong. Do I not pay enough attention to the signs? Do I take on more than I can chew? No pun intended. How about being overworked and under paid?

I write, I sell, I promote, I advertise and the results are the same . . . not too good. Should I give up this life? You know, go back to corporate America? I think this over a lot. And over and over I realize that it’s a bad fit. The way wearing the wrong size underpants would be. You by them too big and they either bunch up or buy them too little and they pinch in all the wrong places. So I find my self stuck with searching for ways to make my life easier. More writing assignments, workshops, and speaking engagements. No wait, I have to get a new partial before I increase my presence before a crowd. Dam! When I get the new set, I am going to see if it can be connected to the other teeth in my mouth, the real ones, instead of being removable. That’s one way of looking at my problem, you think?


Blogger AngelaMichelle said...

you and your partial. *smh*

i believe with or without it you WILL be great at those workshops.

great post!

7:25 AM  

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